There are all kinds of people in the world. I call these folks "maintenance" people. You've encountered them time and time again. They may also be called "groomers." There are certain foods that are messy to eat but that is part of the enjoyment. Watermelon comes to mind. It's not near as much fun to eat when made into little balls or cubed as it is when eaten a quarter at a time, one's mouth filling with seeds and wet, red goodness all over one's face. And I don't mean these over-priced icebox varieties. I mean the huge, thumpable melons that didn't used to be harvested until late July and August. Maintenance people at such events are party poopers. They expect you to wipe your face with each bite. They need to stay home. Try to avoid being around a maintenance person while eating spaghetti. Part of the joy of pasta is wearing the sauce at LEAST a few seconds. I don't buy the THEORY of evolution but I guarantee those who do would say this behavior is a carry over from our ape ancestry. No doubt you have witnessed these primates going through each other's fur picking insects and eating them.
I recently had cataract surgery. The drops that I take cause my eyes to manufacture an inordinate amount of "goobers." One of my well meaning maintenance friends is quick to point these out to me, but there is a catch twenty-two here as my eye doctor doesn't want me rubbing my eyes, not even moistening my pinkie finger and removing the speck.
Update: The doc has cleared me to now GENTLY dab so Maintenance Boy will be more comfortable in my clean-eyed presence.
I have a friend who, when eating, constantly asks, "Do I have cheese all in my beard?" Paranoia no doubt brought on from too many encounters with maintenance people.Where would we be without them? The alternative is discovering spinach on your front teeth on a trip to the restroom.
The entire time you've been reading this, you've had a little something on your cheek. No, right there. Over a little. Let me see. You got it.
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