It is near impossible to go from being lovers (sweethearts, dating, going steady, partners, etc) to being "friends" especially if you're coming off from being "friends with benefits." (No strings) If it's a guy you are breaking up with, he will grab at straws. I know, because I've been guilty. I know some of you are tender-hearted and have been in a relationship that's been toxic. I know you want to believe that said Sir Toxic will change, and while I DO believe in redemption* I also know that there is a certain type of toxic person who has no concept of changing. He only changes in the sense of as a chameleon changes.
Hear me, going from committed relationship to just "friends" is a transition that only comes after at LEAST six months of TOTAL SEPARATION!! (if not more) and maybe PERMANENTLY. Sir Toxic will take on any form, play any role, use any trick, to get you back and by "back" I mean the same old rut you were in that made you make the decision to get out of it. Your heart wants to think he'll change. You want to believe he'll change. He wants to make you believe he'll change. He may even have fooled himself into thinking he's changed, but DON'T, repeat DON'T buy it!
While I have compassion on the Mr Toxics in the world, I am sick and tired of seeing good-hearted, genuine people hurt by these guys. "Oh, I have a sex addiction" Blah blah blah. You are scared to commit and always looking over the fence for greener grass, that's you're problem, Mr Toxic. There are women like this, too, for sure. Why do you thing we have SAFCAB?
Your decision to send Mr Toxic packing was wise. Now you have to follow through. You may have to endure his thinking you're a b*tch, but that's the price you'll have to pay. Your REAL friends will know that is not true! YOU, dear lady have to lay down the barriers and decide what they are. No one can do that FOR you.
The Buck loves you!
(*repentence, a willingness to turn from the old and begin anew through Jesus Christ)
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