I Wish I was a Car
RaNdOm thoughts on why, I indeed, wish I was a car.
First of all, I could run my odometer back which would open up a whole new world of possibilities.
To have gas, I'd actually have to PAY for it.
If my exhaust was offensive, they'd give me a ring job. (I'm not sure if that's a plus or minus) Hmm
Bump and grind would mean I was a NASCAR eh, car.
Depending on the owner, I'd be given a bath every week.
As a human having a titanium leg would make me interesting to a limited amount of people.
As a car, if I had over-sized rims...wait a minute, I'd only be cool to a limited amount of people there, too.
Being jacked up wouldn't mean having to see the dentist the next day or having my jaw re-set.
Being lowered wouldn't mean I was in a coffin.
Peeling out would be cool if I was a car. Not so sure what it means for humans, what, a bad sunburn?
Burn out wouldn't mean I was a druggie or had worked too hard for too long.
A messed up grille would probably cost about the same to get fixed.
Headlights, I guess would be a consideration whether I was male or female.
Woe (a Joey Triviani thought) wonder how you tell the difference with cars?
Don't know if Earl Sheib is still around, but for about three hundred bucks at Peach, I could get an entire new wardrobe!
Bumper music would have an entirely different meaning to me.
Of course, there ARE some negatives, like...
I'm perfectly happy with shoes for under twenty bucks---never cared for advertising someone's brand. Even ordinary tires cost an arm and a leg these days.
When I am no longer on the road, I may or may NOT be recycled. That's a scary thought. Spending eternity in a junk yard? Ew!
Resurrection would only come IF someone decided to fix me up for a demolition derby, unless I was a classic car, then I'd be sold for some ridiculous price.
Someone could put a bumper sticker on me and another equally crazy driver could get offended and hit me in the parking lot on purpose!
Having my lights punched out is no good either way some country chick would do it with a Louisville Slugger!
I don't know...maybe I need to think some more
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